How to Survive the London Underground

It’s busy, it’s sweaty, it’s overcrowded. But it will get you where you need to go if you play by the rules. I’m back in London for the summer and have been reluctantly reintroduced to Tube Etiquette. Thought I’d share how to survive TfL and possibly save a life… You’re welcome!

1. Don’t you dare look anyone in the eye.

2. Walk quickly, as though your life depends on it. If you stop in the middle of the floor, it’s all over Jacqui. Don’t cry, don’t beg.

3. If you step on someone’s shoes, that day will be your last.

4. If you notice a pregnant woman enter the carriage, pretend you didn’t and sit tight.

5. Take only quick glances at the tube maps in the carriage. If you look like you don’t know where you’re going – even for a second – seasoned Londoners will eat you for breakfast.

6. Alcohol is illegal on the tube so if you want to be rebellious, hide yours in a used plastic bottle. No one will be able to tell it’s vodka instead of coca-cola, plus, your recycling will help the environment.

7. You’ve probably had a long journey, put your feet up and rest.

8. People will appreciate you playing music loudly; it means they don’t have to waste their batteries. If you have a portable loudspeaker, commuters will love you forever.

9. If something amazing has happened to you, don’t show it. Look miserable or you won’t fit in.


You know what I’m gonna ask… Have you been on the notorious London Underground before? What did/do you think of it? Let me know in the comments!

Follow my summer in London on Instagram @hdebrahampofo x

Love you guys, Helen x


8 thoughts on “How to Survive the London Underground

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